"To Retaliate or Not To: When customers become uncivil"

" \n To Retaliate or Not To: When customers become uncivil \n \n\n \n If you have spent quite some time at the front line, dealing with customers, you know those days eventually come. If you have not experienced them as yet, take it from me, they are just around the corner. \n \n\n \n Those terrible, horrible, absolutely no-good days\u2014when you feel like punching that irritating customer in the face, when you feel like telling that customer something that would make them have sleepless nights. Yes, those days, eventually arrive. \n \n\n \n And when they come and you feel like getting back at that irritant of a customer, do not feel too bad. You are not evil. You are not on your way to hell. At least, not yet. You are also not being a bad customer service employee. You are not being a bad human being. You are just being human. Those terrible feelings happen to even the very best of us. \n \n\n \n It is not having those feelings that really matter. It is what you do with those feelings that shows who you are, what you are made of, and if you are truly fit to serve customers in the first place. \n \n\n \n Even the very best customer service employees (CSEs) go through those emotions. The truth is that there are times when it seems all customers have turned on you. Even the most well-behaved of customers can just change, just like that. On those days, it might seem the customers come in just to push your buttons. \n \n\n \n Unbearable as those episodes might me, they are a very important part of the service environment. Without those customers pushing you, how would you know the limits of your patience? \n \n\n \n Without those difficult-to-please customers trying everything possible to get under your skin, how would you know your level of emotional intelligence? Without the occasional customer from hell, how would you know what you can take and what you cannot? \n \n\n \n It is one thing to believe you have what it takes to survive the front line of the business and it is another thing to actually be at the front line taking on the salvos of unappreciative and frankly, unreasonably demanding customers. A smooth sea never made a good sailor. \n \n\n \n To be able to properly handle oneself when those encounters occur, it is important to know why uncivil behaviour from customers elicit such responses from CSEs. You need to understand why you feel the way you do when customers get on your nerves. Why can\u2019t front line employees easily let go when customers behave in uncivil ways? \n \n\n \n Researchers have the answer. \n \n\n \n Ego. \n \n\n \n Our egos are such important parts of our makeup that when we feel them threatened, we are ready to fight. When a customer behaves in a way that is unbecoming, especially when the behaviour is an affront to our being, our egos are threatened.\u00a0 For instance, it is different if a customer has a problem with a product or even a service. \n \n\n \n However, while complaining, if the customer begins to attack your person, your ego becomes threatened. If the customer begins to insult you as a person, casting doubts on your competence or even your intelligence, that is a serious threat to your ego. It is for this reason that we think of also hurting (or hitting) that customer in return. The tit-for-tat is a normal reaction to feeling hurt. \n \n\n \n The key to handling one\u2019s ego when it feels threatened is self-control. Closely related to the subject of self-control is self-discipline and willpower. If there is one thing that differentiates great customer service employees from the average employees it is that ability to control their emotions, in the presence of the greatest provocation and under the greatest pressure. The best front line employees are those who are able to stay cool and calm when all else is falling around them. \n \n\n \n Self-control is an important tool in the kit of all excellent customer service employees. It, however, is quite a very expensive and uncommon tool to obtain. It is common knowledge that exercising self-control is not a walk in the park. It takes a lot to be able to stay calm in the face of provocation. \n \n\n \n Self-control is actually a sign of greatness\u2014a greatness that goes way beyond what one does when dealing with customers. The Good Book says in Proverbs 16:32 that \u201cBetter to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.\u201d Psychologists have determined that self-control is actually one of the key determinants of success in life. The other factor, they say, is intelligence. \n \n\n \n Self-control has been viewed as a mental muscle. Like every other muscle, it must be exercised to strengthen it. As it is put through the rigors, willpower and self-control increase in strength and capacity. It is however important to note that the willpower that leads to self-control can be depleted. When willpower is seriously depleted, the individual will have very little self-control. \n \n\n \n Practically, what this means is that there is a limit that every front line employee can be pushed to, before the one loses it. It is therefore important for the individual to have good knowledge of when his or her willpower is low. If one has to face aggrieved and complaining customers all day, it is only a matter of time before the one loses it\u2014and attempts to retaliate or not. \n \n\n \n Research has also shown that burnout is a factor when it comes to the desire to hit back at offending and offensive customers. In other words, the more tired the CSE is, the greater the chances of the one going for the tit-for-tat when a customer acts badly. This is also because the ability to control one\u2019s self is greatly lessened when one is exhausted. Scientists refer to this as the ego-depletion effect. \n \n\n \n It is important to realise that tiredness is not only physical. The concept of emotional labour has been widely studied. Emotional labour has been defined as the regulation, manipulation and management of one\u2019s emotions to fulfil the emotional requirements of a job. \n \n\n \n A more elaborate definition is given as \u201cthe effort involved in performing emotional regulation for the purpose of complying with the interpersonal demands required in order to perform a job in an organization and in order to produce an organizationally sanctioned emotional response.\u201d \n \n\n \n Just as with any kind of labour, emotional labour can very tasking\u2014draining the individual of strength and capacity. This accounts for the tiredness that a typical customer service employee will feel at the end of a typical day. Sometimes, the exhaustion can be as severe as that of a labourer who has been carrying heavy loads all day. \n \n\n \n There are three main ways of exerting emotional labour. The first is a genuine expression of emotions. In this scenario, the CSE just has the right emotions for the right occasion. The other form of emotional labour is Surface Acting which is, basically, a concentration \u201con the external display of emotion\u201d. \n \n\n \n The individual does not really have the emotion required so the one has to fake it. It has been found that counterfeit emotions can be detected from afar. Customers actually resent that kind of display from front line employees. \n \n\n \n A more appropriate form of emotional labour is Deep Acting. This is a technique that relies on the individual getting into a certain mood or emotional state based on a thought the one holds in the mind. For instance, a CSE can deep-act to obtain a genuine smile while dealing with a customer. That smile does not necessarily have to come from that particular experience. It can be a recall from something that might have happened in the past that brings a smile on the face of the one anytime it is recalled. \n \n\n \n Studies has shown that after a period of rest, the power to exert self-control is restored and the CSE is able to perform better when dealing with difficult customers. Practically, this means that HR Managers and supervisors have a duty to ensure that those who deal with customers on a daily basis get enough rest during the year. Annual leave days must not be sold or exchanged for money. Rest, refreshment and relaxation for those at the front must not be compromised in any way. \n \n\n \n There are those who will argue that there are times when one has to put a customer in his or her rightful position. These people argue that failure to do so will turn the frontline employee into a doormat or punching bag. One can understand those who hold to this belief. \n \n\n \n There are definitely customers who a business is better off without. However, those customers, if their custom must be dispensed with, must be allowed to leave without antagonising them. A business can be assertive when dealing with difficult customers without being necessarily retaliatory.\u00a0 \n \n\n \n Working in customer service or any customer-facing job schedule can be very rewarding. To know that you have solved a customer\u2019s problem and put on a smile on someone\u2019s face can be so gratifying. However, as can be discerned from the ongoing, it is not all rosy. \n \n\n \n There are those days\u2014those days when the CSE would have wished he or she had stayed in bed that morning. When those days come, it would require all the willpower, self-discipline and self-control one can muster to hold back. \n "

"To Retaliate or Not To: When customers become uncivil"

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